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What To Do When A Child Sees Sexual Intimacy PDF Print E-mail

According to the Bible, sex is a good thing in the context of a married man and woman. But what happens when a child barges into his or her parents room at a bad time? The result may not be as catastrophic as it seems.
 

ImageAT ISSUE

Our 10 year-old son walked in on us while we were making love. My husband and I both feel terrible and don't know what to do.

Do you think we have hurt him psychologically? Should we talk to our son? He left the bedroom quickly and has not said anything about it.


ImageOUR INSIGHT

Jesus said that it was very natural and normal for "two to become one" in marriage (Mark 10:8) so there's certainly no problem with making love with your husband. Do not buy into the world's view that married expressions of intimacy are "bad" in any way nor share such concepts with children.

The simple fact is that children have a certain awareness about their parents romantic relationship, even though they may not have a detailed knowledge of how it is expressed in a physical way. Children inwardly feel comfortable and happy when they know their parents are in love and want to be alone together.

Children of a certain age may be embarrassed sometimes when they see their parents being lovey-dovey and wise parents don't overdo it. But this embarrassment is part of childhood, isn't it? Your son realized he was at the wrong place at the wrong time, so naturally he departed quickly just as you'd expect.

There are actually only two problems here. The first is that you did not take the initiative to talk with your son as soon as possible after the incident. At 10 years of age he does not have the ability to interpret what he saw. It is highly unlikely he would start a discussion about it. It is your responsibility to interpret the incident for him using kind, gentle and warm terms on a level he is able to understand.

The second problem is that you apparently don't have a lock on your bedroom door. Buy and install one today.


-DLH

 
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