AT ISSUE

There is an older woman in our church who wants to help by praying for people and offering her wisdom. She is really nice, but I just found out that she has been telling things to other people that were private. It's not that these things were secret, but are the type of confidential thing you share with a prayer partner.

I have been hurt by this woman myself, but worse, I'm afraid she will blab to others about something I told her about one of my children. I was just seeking prayer support and did not think she would tell others.

OUR INSIGHT

It is good to have older men and women in the church that can be prayer warriors for us. We need many more of them.

The big question is whether the woman is a raging gossip or whether she has just shown some indiscretion. Discovering that will help you deal with the issue.

Keep in mind that well-meaning people sometimes share with others out of concern, not malice. They may even mention something that is on their heart in public prayer when it would best be reserved for times of private prayer.

Also, some of the older saints simply lose track of what information may be for public consumption, and what should remain private. It's part of the aging process.

In this case, you simply need to show some discretion yourself about what you share with this woman. Do not disclose anything to her that would create problems for yourself or others. If you have some prayer request, tell her about it, but let it be a "secret" request known only to you and God. A godly prayer warrior would be happy to pray on your behalf in these circumstances.

By continuing on in this way you allow the woman to continue her valuable ministry. At the same time you enable her to retain her dignity. Both are extremely important.

Do you feel she is a gossip who is out of control? This would be a completely different situation that requires drastically different action. In that case you need to speak to your pastor about the situation and provide details of confidences given and abused. You should be specific, and if others feel the same way they should accompany you to the meeting with your pastor.

Gossip in the church is a serious problem. But don’t try to eradicate it yourself. It's a job for the pastor and deacons or elders of your church. They should seek the woman's side of the story, and then take action as they feel is biblically appropriate.

-DLH